We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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