I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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