if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
