i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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