dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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