Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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