your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
