He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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