I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
