I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
