You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
