I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
