kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
