Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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