he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
