well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
