Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
