So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
