Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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