Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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