If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I want to fling myself into the sun
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