Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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