As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
