So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
