it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
