Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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