By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
