I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
