My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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