Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
