Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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