Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
