i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
