Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
All I want is dick and wine.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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