I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
