escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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