she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
