Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
