The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
