K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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