Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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