even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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