girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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