So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
