Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
