she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
