I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
