I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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