pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
