party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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