Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
